The Basics of Penguinism

The following is a very basic discussion of Penguinism, that will be developed over time.

…And so it came to pass that the eternal dishwasher stopped. No longer could the countless souls be cleansed and be reborn. The very rhythm of the universe ceased to exist. But this was not the end, only a new beginning. For in that brief moment—or was it an eternity—the penguin Sq’wak arose from the ashes of that great battle, and with her last breath, started the eternal washer again. With that, Sq’wak’s spirit became a part of the washer. Now an integral part of the universe itself, Sq’wak, the Divine Penguin, shall be praised for all time.


First and foremost, the Divine Penguin, long may she squawk, is a deity that protects and forgives. However, she is in an constant struggle with YHWH, an evil and jealous usurper deity. It is YHWH which caused the eternal diswasher to stop. She works alongside the bears in order to keep YHWH at bay. This is why there are polar bears near the North Pole and Penguins near the South Pole.

If you not believe this, try to answer the following question. The word arctic comes from the Greek word for “bear.” However, it was not named for polar bears, because it was named long before they were discovered. Instead, it was named for Ursa Major and Ursa Minor (big bear and little bear), two constellations in the northern sky. So why is it that the northern sky has these bears, and it is also near the northern pole that polar bears reside? Is this not clear evidence that there is divine recognition of the polar bear?

Speaking of these bears, why are they working with the penguins? The answer is simple. The penguins and bears are really two sides of the same coin. They are the manifestation of the fundamental forces of reality. This reality has shown itself, in religion, in various ways throughout history. One of the most well known examples is the concept of yin and yang. The knowledge of the fundamental force has also been realized in another of religions. There is the Tao in Taoism, and Musubu in Shinto.

It is also understandable as to why the bible is so inherently contradictory. Sq’wak tried to provide wisdom to all, but YHWH influenced the interpretation of her words. And so while there are elements of Sq’wak’s wisdom, much of what we read in the bible today is a product of the jealous nature of YHWH. This influence has also warped the understand of hell.

The concept of hell is viewed in a variety of ways. Originally, hell was simply the term for the eternal dishwasher. Judaism still has remnants of this understanding, as it is recognized that one’s presence in hell is not eternal, but is a temporary condition, where the souls of the dead are cleansed. It should be noted that “dish” in no way refers dishes we have in our dining rooms. It is not a plate for food. The “dish” refers to the pure shape of the soul. Now that Sq’wak is part of this dishwasher, YHWH’s influence cannot reach it. For this reason, Christians in some cases interpret hell as a place of torture, as it is devoid of the presence of YHWH. But it is not torture, for it is filled with the warmth of Sq’wak.

Further Reading